Friday, September 30, 2011

Day 3

Day 03
A picture of you and your friends

A picture of me and my friends...Depends. I don't really have a picture of my friends and I currently. I've got plenty of old pictures of me and my friends.

This was my birthday this year. These are some of my friends.

Best Friend Charlotte.

My Bestest Friend/ Boyfriend. :]

That's it.
Get to go look at the New apartment tomorrow (Hopefully).

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Late Day 2

Day 02

The meaning behind your Blogger name

Well, I love the word Multifarious. I found it when I was a little scene kid trying to find ways to describe myself to people. I've always been someone that is on both sides. I'm outgoing and Shy, Adventurous and Cautious and I always wondered what Is a word that I could use? I did some research.
having many different parts, elements, forms, etc.
numerous and varied; greatly diverse or manifold: multifarious activities.

I decided that was the perfect way to describe me. Also the blog is about me, and my life. Nothing In particular. So Varied + My life. And that's how I came to have my blog name.

Nothing else to really say about me today.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

30 days of Blogging? I've got this...Maybe.

Today's Topic:

Catch Up. Not Ketchup.

Well, Here I am. Every few days I realize that I have not posted anything so I catch up on what my friend Sam Has been doing in her blog. She's always got something new for me to be interactive with and makes me want to write too. So here I go. This time she's presented her bloggers about a 30 day Challenge, Might as well join in too right?
Day 1

15 Interesting facts:

1: One of my Middle Names is Leina'ala. It's Hawaiian.
2:I'm a hard person to live with. When I ask you to clean something I mean everything has to be spotless.
3: I'm starting to realize I'm more like my parents than I though I would be.
4: Rice, red meat, and fruit. That's my shit.
5: I like to be in control.
6: I'm not, not annoyed by ANYONE.
7: I'd really like to be famous for my art one day, but I feel like my art is too mundane.
8: Kinda sad I only have Three Blog Followers. :P
9: I wish I was competitive enough to work in fashion.
10: I can't imagine being with anyone other than chris.
11: I told myself I'd only get one's are pretty addicting in reality.
12: I Like men and woman.
13: I have two cats who I love dearly and more than most people.
14: I've been in therapy off and on since I was in elementary school.
15: I like cold egg-rolls.

Here's a bonus fact: I always Abbreviate Wednesdays to Wed. Because I have a REALLY hard time spelling that word.

If you haven't heard about the challenge yet, do it so I can read yours. Here are the days!
Day 01 A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02 The meaning behind your Blogger name
Day 03 A picture of you and your friends
Day 04 A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 05 A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06 Favorite super hero and why
Day 07 A picture of someone, something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08 Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09 Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10 Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11 Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12 How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13 A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14 A picture of you and your family
Day 15 Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16 Another picture of yourself
Day 17 Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18 Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19 Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20 Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21 A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22 What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23 Something you crave for a lot
Day 24 A letter to your parents
Day 25 What I would find in your bag
Day 26 What you think about your friends
Day 27 Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28 A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30 Who are you?

In Other News:

Yesterday The New Fall Term Started. Oh, how exciting. I'm only taking two classes this term so I can get my academic standing back in ranks. I am taking Water Color Two (THANK GOD! I was on the waitlist.) and History of Woman, sex and family. So far these classes seem to be okay. hopefully the rest of the term will be better than my first day back was.

First of all, I was on the waitlist for the water color class that starts at 11 on Mondays and Wednesdays. I got up around 9:30 got ready, sat around waiting to catch the bus at 10:49. Got to the bus stop, waited around and the bus was late. Bye the time it finally got there it didn't even stop because it was too full! OMG how frustrating! I was sure I was gonna not make it into the class (first come first serve kinda thing) but I was determined so I sat and waited for the next one while the other two people that were there went off and did something else. Waited, waited, the 2nd bus is running late. FINALLY get's there as I'm on the phone with my aunt about to say fuck it and i catch the bus to the school, run to class, walk in and The teacher Says It's time to take roll. I MADE IT and only two people on the waitlist got in and one was me. :3 Super believing in Karma right then.

However, later that day I went to this UC (urgent care) because I'm sick and I thought I might have Tonsillitis and I asked them how long it would take till I could see a doctor and they said 30 min. (BTW this place is called "Express Doctor". I waited one hour and 20 min in the Lobby and 40 min sitting by myself in the exam before I could see a doctor. I was SO pissed. Especially since my aunt had been nice enough to take me but had to go to her own appointment at four. We were running on 20 min till her appointment (somewhere else) I was about to walk out I was almost crying and I was so tired and frustrated because I was sick and it hurt in the first place, when he finally walks in, told me pretty much what I already knew and gave me a prescription. -.- Fing stupid. UGH.
In any case, on tuesdays and thursdays I have to get up at 9:30 get to the bus at 10:24 to go to the school to catch a shuttle at 11:15 to rock creek campus to take a class at 12. XD Gonna be an alright term.

Also, Moving soon! only what 2 weeks and three days till we can move into the new apartment!!!!! OHGOSH! I've been so ready of this. The apartment manager said we can paint as long as we paint it back later. :3 I'm so excited. I've been waiting for so long to have a place to paint. Hopefully we stay there for a long time. (I'm really bad at staying one one place for a long time) And I've been feeling so creative lately, so many new things I want to try. However, I'm too lazy. :P
Wish my unlazy luck! Maybe I'll create something cool. :}

Monday, September 19, 2011

A little A-Z Survey +.

A. Age: 20

B. Bed size: I have a full. :] They're big but you gotta snuggle.

C. Chore that you hate: Cleaning up after other people's bathroom grossness.

D. Dogs: Some are Cute. I love kitties.

E. Essential start to your day: Kiss Boyfriend, Facebook, Pee.

F. Favorite color:(s) turqoise, Pinks, silver, white and black. (even though they're not "Officially" colors.

Gold or Silver: Depends on what color my hair is. :] And how I feel. I like both.

H. Height: 5 ft 3in. :3 I'm small.

I. Instruments you play:..The skin flute? Ahahaha. I used to play the viola that's about it. Love the sound of string instruments.

J. Job title: Full-Time Student. :}

K. Kids: One day I'd like to have a girl. But, Babies scare me so I don't know how that's gonna work out. :p

L. Live: Portland Mother Fucking Oregon. Homegrown. :p

M. Mother’s name: Heather. It's a pretty name. :]

N. Nicknames: ...The little mermaid, light, pikachu, people call me aureola. Not very appreciated lol.

O. Overnight hospital stays: When I was a baby.

P. Pet peeves: Everything. One that I recently experienced: When guests don't clean up after themselves.

Q. Quote from a movie: I don't remember things like that.

R. Right or left handed: Right handed.

S. Siblings: Half brother and maybe step sister? Technically Dad and step mom are still together, but not really.

U. Underwear: Right now. Black. lol I love lace, boyfriend likes cute. I try to mix lol

V. Vegetable you hate: ...Most of them.

W. What makes you run late: "Other people. I hate being late."-Sam. ---Exactly.

X-Rays you’ve had: ...I don't believe I've had any. I've never broken anything.

Yummy food that you make: Box Pasta. haha. I'm pretty good at Scrambled eggs and Bacon.

Z. Zoo animal: It's all about the Tigers. always. Nothing is better.

On another note:
The Rave I was all excited to go to was cancelled. I'm really sad. I didn't get to go to ANY outdoors this year. D:
Also, I made a whole bunch of Fuzzy Boot Covers to sell there and Since It was cancelled I lost a lot of money. Help me out and Share my link? I'm trying to make my money back.
In my opinion they're rather cute.
Anyways, so instead of going to the rave me and a few groups went camping together. Same place I went for my birthday. It was pretty fun. Got to meet some cool characters and get to know some new people. Also nice to get one more camping trip in before fall "Officially" started. Not like it was much of a summer this year. :/
And My fears and sadness have still been around but the last few days Chris has been making me feel way better. Thank god for having someone that will always love you.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Where have I been?

Where Have I been, That's a good question to start with.

Man, I've been in a funk lately. It was chris and I's One year yesterday. He was at work from 9-6:30 while I was at his mom's house doing laundry. :{ It made me really sad. Then we went to the Ringside to eat some fancy food and great onion rings! (I hated onions really until i tried these last time we went). But I wasn't very hungry so I felt bad for not really eating and I've just been feeling off. After that we went and played glow in the dark mini golf! It was pretty cool looking there. In the end chris beat me though. :{ I was sad. I get pretty competitive. I hate games that you have to wait on people though because then I rush and don't do as well. :{ i like things like lazer tag and paintball where you're constantly in motion and everything you do has to be done in a split second or else you could be done for!
But I felt so weird. :{ maybe it's just because we've been together for a year and I keep expecting like we should be feeling the intensity of when we were first together. I always stop and feel like we're growing a part.
But then later I think about it and rationalize that that's not it. We're just used to each other and we understand each other and we're still just as happy and we still can't even begin to think about not being with each other. Just because our love Isn't fresh doesn't mean it's not true.
I'm always stressing about this kind of stuff.

On another note. Candy Carnival(rave) is in two days. And I've been super lazy.
I need to finish my boot covers and also my bear suit. So lazy though! I don't want to do anything and it's so much harder to do things when Chris isn't here. He's my motivation. Everything is better when He is around.

Still feeling weird about us. I can't stop.
He's not very affectionate when we're around others, but we're around others 90% of the time. this girl needs more attention then that. :{
This weekend is going to be harsh. Please, wish me some luck.

On another note. I've been making lots of fuzzies. (until I got lazy)
Here are a few of the more interesting ones.

Goodbye for now.

Friday, September 9, 2011

My life lately.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I haven't felt this way in awhile.
I used to get sad for no reason all the time. Maybe it's not for just no reason maybe I just can't pick the thing that is making me feel that way. but to me it's no reason, what is there to be sad about? Why have I been so emotional lately. I've been crying all the time. It seems like every single little thing that seems sad just sets me off. It's not like I've been outright just bawling my eyes out. It's like a crack in the voice and a few tears down the cheek. I hate it, It's been making me feel so weak. Everything just seems more intense.
Chris says that I might just be feeling..I don't know a word that starts with an S? Means, I'm stuck, I'm not going anywhere.
I mean It might make sense, For the past few years I've been in School, I haven't stopped being in school and I also Don't live downtown so I haven't really been doing anything. Hang out every once in awhile. And I just get too lazy to do anything.

I hate doing things alone.
Like, right now It's taking all of my motivation just to get up and even think about taking a shower. :[

Motivation. I never have any of it. Never. Unless i'm with people and It's like, HEY let's go to the store, 1, 2,go!
But big things...I can't go anywhere. Like college? Please, I hate school.
Maybe it's just my overall negative mood on life.
You live, You die.
Woot, woot, what a party.
I don't know what's wrong with me. :{ I haven't even been eating right.
I barely eat. Nothing seems to taste good, I don't really want anything to drink and up till today I didn't even want to sleep.
I think it's funny that when you see a therapist it's always like, oh we're gonna talk on this date, not when you really need to talk. You need an on call therapist.
I miss mine. :{

sadsadsadsadsad everywhere.

Friday, September 2, 2011


Yesterday I hung out with Wall-e.

You might be thinking of Wall-E as in the movie.
That's not who I hung out with, Kinda. :P

This is My Wall-E

And I am her Eva.

We meet almost two years ago? I don't know anymore. It was the day of my Senior Prom and my boyfriend at the time and I were downtown waiting around and I saw some friends from afar and Kayla was one of her friends as well. As soon as she saw me she told me I was so pretty and asked me to be her Eva.
I told her I would as long as she was my Wall-E.

^It was that Day^

Almost immediately after that we became bestfriends.
We were bestfriends throughout my last relationship.
But then He got jealous I was always with her (Because she's a lesbian)
And then he hated her, and I always ran crying to her and It got worse and worse, Because she liked me and I really liked her but I was too scared to leave the relationship I was in. And I really did love her, but it just seemed kinda weird to be in a relationship.
Then we didn't talk for a while when I finally did break up with him.
She was the most amazing person I had ever met, So true, so passionate, so honest, so caring. She was so sweet.
Always. And she still is. I was just always so scared I'd hurt her. You don't want to be selfish and keep something so amazing to yourself when you know there are others that need their help.
In any case. We finally hung out the other day for the first time in MONTHS.
I really did miss her, our feelings for each other have change. I'm happy about that. Because I love the person I'm with.
But she's just as amazing as always. And always a little late (She hasn't had a cellphone for over a year by choice. Annoying when trying to meet up with her, one of the reasons we don't hang out anymore.)

And maybe she's not my bestfriend anymore, but we still share our food and dance in the square and wander downtown and I always drag her shopping with me.
I love hanging out with her because she is so, random. And she's always fun.
I really feel like myself around her. :]

This post has been really random and Sporadic. Sorry. >< Anyways, I miss her and I hope we start hanging out again soon since I'm not dating someone she's afraid of. <3

Just for Sam, Because no one else Follows me.

1.) Blog URL
2.) Name and blog title
3.) “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” a standard font preview phrase
4.) Favorite quote
5.) Favorite song(s), current and/or all-time
6.) Favorite artist(s)
7.) A phrase I often say
8.) People I tag to play


Thursday, September 1, 2011

I Blame it all On Sam and Sam

Topic: Marriage.

I blame this train of thought all on two friends of mine, Sam and Sam who recently got engaged. I'm really happy for them. It's nice to see couples like them who are so sure that they're with the person that they will love for the rest of their lives. It's like, living proof that love exists and It really can happen that someone can fall in love for real.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely cynical. Honestly, I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe in forever love, I believe in soul mates, and I believe in making a happy home with love all around! However, up until they got engaged I didn't even really think about my wedding someday. I mean, girls are supposed to be dreaming of this day since they're like ten, right? I mean it crossed my mind every once in awhile the one thing I always knew was that I was gonna get married on a beach over looking the water (always wanted it to be in Hawaii but now I'm imagining closer to home). That's the one thing I knew. Not what colors I wanted, wither or not we would be barefoot or not, what flowers I would have, what type of dress I want, live band or a DJ? There are a lot of things to think about when having a wedding. I never took the time to imagine what my "dream wedding" would look like. Why would I waste the time thinking about this amazing life and marriage and love if I still hadn't found someone I truly, honestly, with out a doubt loved and wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I've always had a bit of commitment issues, always afraid I'd lose them. A marriage is the most deeply set commitment I've even thought about. It's so huge! Why waste such a beautiful dream on a rotten end?

Now all this talk about marriage has got me thinking about what I actually want. I mean, three of my friends have recently got married, two of which are younger than me! I'm only 20.(I always planned to probably be engaged or married around 23-26) Gosh. Why are we getting married so young again? Are we filling our head with hopes and dreams and fairy tales that might just come to an end, and we're okay with that? Are we that desperate to not end up alone that we cling to what we have not knowing if it's the truth? Is that's what happening, or maybe I'm being cynical again. Maybe what it is, is maybe our generation is learning. Maybe it's a new way of survival. I mean if you think about it. People that are our age (18-26) Will date for years being with one person before deciding to get married, some wait a year. But I know, that's still a lot more time than some adults give it. It seems that when you're older say, 30+, you tend to date someone for a couple months then decide that this person is your life and marry them in a matter of a few months. I feel like that is a more likely rate that you will get divorced seeing as when you're that old and you're married you're kinda married for the rest of your life to this person that you may not actually love in the end, maybe they get abusive or your find out they're constantly cheating on you. Also, a lot of times they don't even more in with each other until they're married! Who knows how well you will actually live together, maybe you just can't stand that they never refill the toilet paper and you've asked them and they haven't changed! You tend to stay with them because of reasons like, "I'm too old to date.", "I'm comfortable now, if we separate we will have to deal with kids, and money issues.". It's really sad when you see people that are together not by choice but by obligation.

Recently though my mind has been meddled with all these ideas. I mean, I stayed awake for hours last night not being able to sleep and all I seemed able to think about was what I wanted my wedding to be like. What colors I would have, what flowers, what place, what dress. I feel like I'm going crazy! I feel like I'm a little 16 year old girl crazy infatuated with her current boyfriend. Then I catch myself, and I ask myself, "Is it okay to think about these things? Should I be getting my hopes up? What if what I want doesn't actually ever happen?" It's like I'm scared that just thinking about it will make it not happen. I mean I'm not even the one engaged! All in all, I blame it all on Sam and Sam because without their happiness I wouldn't be thinking of my own.

I do know though that I want there to be 1001 paper cranes.